So Black, So Proud, So American

I was fortunate to get a chance to go to the National Museum of African American History and Culture on Sunday. It was beautiful and moving and sad all at once.

I say sad because it reminds me how far we’ve come and how far we still have to go. I am an American and I realize that there are many people that don’t see me as that. They see me as just a black person and that puts me in a different category. I’ve been struggling a lot with this thought and so many others lately. I am genuinely fearful that my husband will be shot by a police officer. He is a college educated engineer who works for the federal government – a professional. But could someone look at him and think he looks like a “bad dude” and shoot him too?

Even in the midst of a celebration like this museum there is sadness. I watched the dedication ceremony open with the singing of the National Anthem and the closing of the Negro National Anthem and I thought of all the athletes taking a knee and the people angry at their right as Americans to protest. I just don’t understand how we seem to be moving to a world where if we don’t all conform to the same thing we aren’t true Americans. Isn’t that what being an American is all about? Having a choice? Being able to choose who we love? If we want to protest?

All I know is I’m black, I’m proud and I’m an American.

10 Replies to “So Black, So Proud, So American”

  1. With you 100 percent, my dear! So delighted that you were able to be present for this historic occasion… along with some other dear friends of mine. We hope to be back in DC sometime soon for a visit with a new grandchild and a huge time-out to explore the NMAAHC. I hope this wonderful new site helps open more eyes and hearts as time goes on. Meanwhile, I am praying for you and your husband in these times of painful growth. Keep knitting for peace and greater understanding!

  2. Thank you for your post. I feel like anything I might say is not enough. I can’t understand what is going on, and I can’t understand how people want to deny the racism that’s so deeply ingrained and clearly at play here. I’m sorry that you, your husband, and so many others need to live in fear in a country that is supposed to be a (ahem) leader of the free (ahem) world. Hopefully we can all mobilize to put an end to this frightening state of affairs.

    1. And thank you for your words. I know is a blow out knitting but it’s also my outlet and I feel so weird sharing sometimes.

  3. ❤ As a white woman, I'm never entirely sure how (or if) to respond to things like this. But being silent isn't an option so– if nothing else– I want you to know I hear you. I am afraid for, I grieve for, and I have hope for you, your husband, and all the African-American and other people of color in this supposedly 'great' country of ours, too. Have you seen this?

    1. Thank you, I’m checking out the site. And never be afraid to speak. Your words mean a lot.

  4. You already know … the racial tension in this country is really doing a number on me. Really. It’s affecting me more than I expected and I’m not sure what that means or what to do with it. So you know, I hear you. I pray for all the minority men I know by intimate association (family, friends, coworkers etc) and for those like your husband that I know through my online relationship with you. That’s all I know how to do … ❤

    1. I’m with you and I’m praying and hoping for something better to come. For some kind of healing to happen. I’ve realized this affects me more than I thought it was so I’m trying to practice self care and to not let fear paralyze me.

      1. Same here. It’s been slowing bouncing back because every time I think I’m better, someone else gets killed. But I’m going to keep trying.

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